The New Dog

Once Again I Have a Dog….

I am not a good dog person. I like the idea of a dog. The reality of a dog is something waaaaay bigger than the idea. The fantasy is this lovable big furry body that will lie by your side with fluffy hair that you can snuggle, who will respond when you talk to him with snuffels and snorts and chuffs. The reality is all of that plus smells, and drool, and big enormous poops, and barks, and whines, and terrorizing your cats out of the room. It never goes as planned.

My husband says to me “I am so frustrated, the kids just called and they can’t take Jack  when they move. They dont know what they will do with him.” I’m all “Oh, so sad! Oh well!” Cold as stone. Heartless. I say “I do not want a dog. Not a giant Golden Retriever in my tiny space. No, No, No!”

And I stick to that. For about 1/2 an hour. Then the idea of a dog seeps in. He will be good, he will be fuzzy, my six year old will love him. He has no where to go!

So I say yes.

Crap.

Now I am in, he is here. Jack the dog. I say “The Dog” because my son is also Jack. So now I have 2 Jacks. Both whining, drooling, chewing, scratching to get out…..

Ok to be fair Jack the boy isn’t as bad at all that as the dog, but he isn’t fluffy either.

And now the first giant pile of poop is in my side yard. Has not been cleaned up, in spite of vigorous pointing and exclaiming, and my cats are missing. And the worst part is that this dog seems to absolutely love me!

I think Im screwed.

“Pets Enhance Our Lives…..And Then Leave Poop All Over It.” anonymous

 

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